I work at a thousand miles an hour, I sometimes don’t stop and think, I’m a worrier, I get anxious, I crave a life that I can be proud of. Some of those things you’ll be nodding your head at “yes I too think the same”.
I know how good stopping, reflecting and listening to an outside ear is for me and yet I don’t always listen to that little voice until I drop on the floor in a heap.
Revolutionary Life Coaching (or in detail one of the good souls on this earth Sonia Voldseth) is a business here in Queenstown and she relishes the opportunity to sit and reflect on some of those things.
I admit I sometimes tend to veer away from the word “life’ and ‘coach’. I’m not a big believer in someone telling me to move forward, to evaluate, to take stock, to live my dreams etc etc but when Sonia and I met over coffee one morning I knew her values aligned with mine, her theories were on my wave length and she made me laugh. And another thing. She could laugh at herself. She totally gets it. She’s an open book about her own struggles and has found another way.
Life is funny and sad and infuriating. It’s fast and slow and up and down and all over the show. I wouldn’t actually want it any other way but sometimes the up and down, fast and slow get a little too much for me and I need to breathe, pause and look at some of the things that are going on around me. What am I avoiding? What do I enjoy?
I attended a session with Sonia to find out for myself what her practice looked like and what it could do for me, or rather how could I take some of the things learnt and use them in my own life. One thing to be sure, never ever stop learning.
We met at Wakatipu Wellness – a lovely space in Terrace Junction and began by looking at what was happening for me right now, what I wanted to look at.
For me the whole subject around ‘success’ and what that looks like is currently at the top of my brain space. I don’t fear failure (well not fully) but my business and my work life being successful is important to me. Is success just another unachievable constant like happiness?
Sonia talked me through an exercise called ‘The chairs’ where we moved three chairs in a line. One a solid, swivelly desk chair, and then two comfier brightly coloured chairs. I sat in the first harder one and shut my eyes. Sonia then led me through a series of questions around how I felt in the chairs. Simple enough but the feeling of sitting in two different chairs surprised me.
In one my feet didn’t touch the ground, I swivelled, I wasn’t grounded. It hurt my back, my stomach felt tight, I was slightly teary. The other, a softer more comforting experience. Feet firmly planted, back against the cushion. I relaxed, I was calmer.
Moving though the back and forth I had a revelation. I am busy, speedy in life. The kind of person who is thinking of the next thing before the thing I’m doing is done. I realised I hate limbo. I hate reading instructions. An analogy of “I don’t want to make the damn wardrobe, I just want something to put my clothes into” made sense to me. I need to calm down, to breathe, to relish the journey not the destination.
What is success if we can’t enjoy the getting to it? What is learning if we don’t stumble and fall and pick ourselves up along the way?
A simple one hour session (amongst a plan of more) I could sit and think about me. What do I want? What do I need? Not in the future but right now. Right here.
She uses lots of elements of yoga, meditation and mindfulness in her coaching because they are all about the right now. Being present to whatever is going on in that moment. Learning different ways to deal with discomfort.
Sonia is compassionate, kind and most of all real. She isn’t about making us strive for the unachievable ‘happiness’ so many others spout. She is understanding in that she too falls over and picks herself back up, to wonder if some of the standards we set ourselves aren’t about what others want for us but what we’ve set for ourselves. The road in these sessions is like life, you can never tell what will come up. You start on one track and it leads you twisty turny to other stories, memories and feelings.
We all need some ‘us’ time. We leave it, put it aside, say we’ll get to it but don’t. Spring is when we grow, when everything around us grows. It is here, and I’m renaming it ‘season of me and you’.
Sonia provides a simple (free) consult first if you need to chat through what the sessions will look like and a plan for the coming sessions getting you to think about what it is you want to cover.
THANK YOU Jane Guy at Queenstown Life for this article! I am honoured and humbled. And buzzing too. x