What Are You Trying to Prove?

What Are You Trying to Prove?

I've had to ask myself this question too many times to count. What is it exactly that I'm trying to prove?

And it always comes back to this.  Am I good enough? Yet?

I was having a conversation with my hairdresser/landscaper this morning about the need to prove ourselves.  She sports red painted toenails, shiny blonde hair and legs that seem to reach her neck.  Also, on her days not being a hairdresser, she lifts heavy rocks all day.  Somehow she pulls this off. Also, she admitted that it's really hard to be a feminist and to ask for help.  

The Power in Pain

The Power in Pain

But suddenly you’re ripped into being alive. And life is pain, and life is suffering, and life is horror, but my god you’re alive and its spectacular. - Joseph Campbell

We're all afraid of pain. We have to override every natural instinct that tells us to run from it. Running from pain is the natural thing to do.

Sitting with pain, and learning from pain, is counter-intuitive. It feels …. painful and shitty and gut-wrenching and heart-breaking.  We don't like it. 

I tried for a long time to run from pain. That's what I knew. I had lots of coping mechanisms to help me.  Food restriction, control, and working myself into the ground - to name a few.



 

The Joy in Surrender - How Depression Taught Me to Live Again

The Joy in Surrender - How Depression Taught Me to Live Again

Hon? Are you ok?” I looked up, my face covered in tears and snot. “I’m not sure”, I said.

I wasn’t sure. That was the hardest part.

More nights than not I found myself curled in a ball against the back wall of our walk in closet, my head on my knees. My husband would leave me, mostly, knowing that I needed the space. He’d check on me though, too. That time was hard on both of us.

Queenstown Life Article

Queenstown Life Article

Sonia is compassionate, kind and most of all real. She isn’t about making us strive for the unachievable ‘happiness’ so many others spout. She is understanding in that she too falls over and picks herself back up.

 

How Apologising is Sucking Your Power and How You Can Dare to Get it Back

How Apologising is Sucking Your Power and How You Can Dare to Get it Back

“Stop saying sorry”, he said. “It’s fine. And you should consider apologizing less.”

I hardly know this man, except for our conversations in the coffee shop.

My face flashed hot. My heart jumped awkwardly to my throat, and then back down.

His comment kind of pissed me off.

Actually, no. It did piss me off.

Are You Good Enough?

Are You Good Enough?

I haven’t taken many selfies lately. Why?

Because I haven’t looked good, that’s why.

I’m vain. And I’m afraid.

Not because I think you’re shallow. But because I think we all are.

Here is the truth. I don’t have it all together.

NO ONE HAS IT ALL TOGETHER.

Lost Your Self Love? Here's How to Find It

Lost Your Self Love? Here's How to Find It

Writing in the sand, hearts, people skipping with balloons (weird), and running through wheat fields (really weird).  This is the imagery we have for self love.

I grew up on a ranch. Never once did I see anyone running through a wheat field unless they’d just been stung by ants or horned by a bull.

Anyone who finds their self love in a wheat field will be pretty damn itchy when they get out with it, but at least they've found it. And that is truly a beautiful thing, because it's not easy.